Dear Forfismum

[forfismum]

M****i *o*m *i*l**d,I beseech you not to name names in this hallowed corner of the forum,even to give hints is breaching the rules of the confessional [I nearly damnwell said harem forgoodnesssake] .I was merely trying to give a timely warning of how things might develop.Anyway if the worst should happen MH will pay a good price for any videos that happen to surface.............I shall say no more on the subject.There are more pressing problems of a personal nature for me to deal with,I have pile of unopened mail from troubled people who have no-one to turn to other than their saintly old pal,forfismum.

[spadlet]

Originally Posted by forfismum

I note from other threads that some of our young ladies are having boy trouble. Perhaps they are too shy to confide with me here in this highly confidential corner of the forum but i feel that i should reach out and offer a few words of wisdom.All this talk of being able to manage without boys is just sheer bravado and can only come to a sticky end.It is but one small step from " I don't need boys " to sharing a tent a Glasto with a female companion and we all know where that will lead to ,yes indeed.Saphic lust.I urge all young ladies to reconsider their positions here and take great care with your decisions.You may not look too pretty with a crew cut, wearing boys clothes may not be enhancing.Imagine being stalked by Madonna ??

I'm afraid I have to disagree with you. There is an amazing correlation in my life between an increase in the ammount of things I do and people I meet and having single status. There are also plenty of people prepared to criticise my taste in blokes. Thus I am selecting the having adventures option for my life. This may lead to me being old and alone talking to my plants but at least I'll have had a good time on the way, rather than being stuck in a boring house with someone I never want to talk to and wishing I could afford to move to the Moon.

Also, contrary to your assertion, if you're single there's even less pressure to kiss women because you don't have to deal with male fantasies.

Anyhow, I never said I didn't need boys, they are very useful when on the streets of London during the night. I mearly said that I dont need boys to be more than friends with me.

[forfismum]

In answer to the above letters of denial all I can say is that this situation has been brought about by the effects of female hormones in the water supply,young men today just don't have the pulling power any more.

I have just finished a course on dealing with addictions and I see mention of cake addiction and cake hoarding in the posts,if you know of anyone in need of counseling just slip them my card.

[Myrtti]

Dear Forfismum. I am confused. What to do?

[forfismum]

Dear C****s*d of ***l*a**, confusion and its sister ailment conflabberation are the result of too much information,mostly of a moaning nature,coming from folks who have nothing else to do but wander around causing confusion.I recommend a nice relaxing glass of Guinness.Or youcould pretend to be on the phone when you spot one of these creatures approach your desk.You could also walk around your workplace with a large bundle of papers under your arm, lots of folks seem to do this.Some of the self-styled advisors in my profession will tell you that sitting in the toilet crying helps,but I feel that is extreme and only a step away from the ECT dept.